Coors Light Beer Review
Back in the early 70s – the 1870’s – Adolph Coors, founder of Coors Brewing Co., infamously stated, “Water makes the beer!” Finding refuge in the small town of Golden, CO, Coors built his empire at the base of the Rockies; tapping the mountain range for its clear, crisp water. Fast-forward a century into Generation ‘Me’ where, as writer Tom Wolfe so eloquently describes them, “whining bitches” and “lazy, pot-bellied trust-fund kids” run rampant. In response to the demanding requests for healthier options, Coors gives the people what they want: off-color, carbonated water! Err, I meant light beer!
Upon its introduction into the United States market in 1978, residents of Colorado praised the brewery for the “crisp, clean taste” of Coors Light. Manhattan resident, Hugh Wallace said, “It’s like drinking beer, but without all of the calories.” However, while some were showering the new brew with praise, others were more skeptical. Chicago Tribune columnist, Dan Monaghan asked, “Is Coors Light beer?” and Sacramento resident, Richard Chase said, “…nice pH level, but [it] needs more plasma and fatty acids.” While a division emerged early on, Coors’ light brew stood the test of time; as it is currently one of America’s most-consumed beers. Here’s what we have to say about it in the beer review!
It poured nicely – smooth, like water running from my tap. I was taken aback by the beautiful, golden, almost piss-like color of the beer. Compared with some of the other brews we’ve reviewed, this one is quite carbonated, and impressed us with its generous fingernail of head, which quickly dissipated. I would liken the smell of Coors Light with that of the cold, Rocky air – clean. In all fairness, there was hardly any smell to speak of; even with your nose practically submerged in it. While the lack of “smell” in the air is nice, I do prefer beers with pleasant aromatics. A beer without some sort of hoppy, grainy, yeasty…[et cetera] aroma is a sign of a weak beer, weak ingredients, or both.
Unfortunately, the taste is sort of like the smell – non-existent. It tasted somewhat flat, despite the abundance of carbonation. Sure, there were some minor notes of grain, but nothing distinguishable or noteworthy. The drinkability of this beer is decent, but why shouldn’t it be? What’s the drinkability of water?
Alright, so we’ve been knockin’ on this beer pretty hard, but there are some good things about it: you’ll fit right in with all the other douchebags at the party. Joking aside, Coors Light is amongst the cheapest beers available, and is often featured in drink specials at local restaurants and bars. If you want to drink, but have been impacted by the recent economic downturn, perhaps you should give this a try. I’d recommend pairing this beer with some salty, fried food to counterbalance the low-calorie, lightness of the beer – you know, sort of like coffee and cigarettes. For those of you in decent economic standing, I’d prepare yourself with another brew for when you inevitably run out of Coors Light. It’s safe to say that while Coors Light might be the “Coldest Tasting Beer In The World,” it certainly isn’t the best!
Prominent Coors Light enthusiasts include: James Van Der Beek, Sir Edmund Hillary, and Douglas Gardner. So, if you’re stuck in the 90s, stuck on a mountain, or stuck at a red light, this beer is for you. [Note: We do not encourage drinking and driving. Keep it legal!]
I know what you’re thinking: this review is hogwash! Alright, you got me, anonymous Internet user and/or beer enthusiasts. So everything stated in this review might not be true; guilty! But, can you blame me? I’m pretty buzzed – I’m on my 11th Coors Light.
On a lighter note, even lighter than Coors Light, WearYourBeer.com sent me a cool Coors Light t-shirt. Thanks!
They actually have quite a nice selection of beer t-shirts! I’m sure you can even create your own. Check ‘em out!