Beer Blog Buzz

Coors Light Beer Review

Back in the early 70s – the 1870’s – Adolph Coors, founder of Coors Brewing Co., infamously stated, “Water makes the beer!”  Finding refuge in the small town of Golden, CO, Coors built his empire at the base of the Rockies; tapping the mountain range for its clear, crisp water.  Fast-forward a century into Generation ‘Me’ where, as writer Tom Wolfe so eloquently describes them, “whining bitches” and “lazy, pot-bellied trust-fund kids” run rampant.  In response to the demanding requests for healthier options, Coors gives the people what they want: off-color, carbonated water!  Err, I meant light beer!

Upon its introduction into the United States market in 1978, residents of Colorado praised the brewery for the “crisp, clean taste” of Coors Light.  Manhattan resident, Hugh Wallace said, “It’s like drinking beer, but without all of the calories.”  However, while some were showering the new brew with praise, others were more skeptical.  Chicago Tribune columnist, Dan Monaghan asked, “Is Coors Light beer?” and Sacramento resident, Richard Chase said, “…nice pH level, but [it] needs more plasma and fatty acids.”  While a division emerged early on, Coors’ light brew stood the test of time; as it is currently one of America’s most-consumed beers.  Here’s what we have to say about it in the beer review!

It poured nicely – smooth, like water running from my tap.  I was taken aback by the beautiful, golden, almost piss-like color of the beer.  Compared with some of the other brews we’ve reviewed, this one is quite carbonated, and impressed us with its generous fingernail of head, which quickly dissipated.  I would liken the smell of Coors Light with that of the cold, Rocky air – clean.  In all fairness, there was hardly any smell to speak of; even with your nose practically submerged in it.  While the lack of “smell” in the air is nice, I do prefer beers with pleasant aromatics.  A beer without some sort of hoppy, grainy, yeasty…[et cetera] aroma is a sign of a weak beer, weak ingredients, or both.

Unfortunately, the taste is sort of like the smell – non-existent.  It tasted somewhat flat, despite the abundance of carbonation.  Sure, there were some minor notes of grain, but nothing distinguishable or noteworthy.  The drinkability of this beer is decent, but why shouldn’t it be?  What’s the drinkability of water?

Alright, so we’ve been knockin’ on this beer pretty hard, but there are some good things about it: you’ll fit right in with all the other douchebags at the party.  Joking aside, Coors Light is amongst the cheapest beers available, and is often featured in drink specials at local restaurants and bars.  If you want to drink, but have been impacted by the recent economic downturn, perhaps you should give this a try.  I’d recommend pairing this beer with some salty, fried food to counterbalance the low-calorie, lightness of the beer – you know, sort of like coffee and cigarettes.  For those of you in decent economic standing, I’d prepare yourself with another brew for when you inevitably run out of Coors Light.  It’s safe to say that while Coors Light might be the “Coldest Tasting Beer In The World,” it certainly isn’t the best!

Prominent Coors Light enthusiasts include: James Van Der Beek, Sir Edmund Hillary, and Douglas Gardner.  So, if you’re stuck in the 90s, stuck on a mountain, or stuck at a red light, this beer is for you.  [Note: We do not encourage drinking and driving.  Keep it legal!]

I know what you’re thinking: this review is hogwash!  Alright, you got me, anonymous Internet user and/or beer enthusiasts.  So everything stated in this review might not be true; guilty!  But, can you blame me?  I’m pretty buzzed – I’m on my 11^th Coors Light.

Beer Rating:

On a lighter note, even lighter than Coors Light, WearYourBeer.com sent me a cool Coors Light t-shirt. Thanks!



They actually have quite a nice selection of beer t-shirts! I’m sure you can even create your own. Check ‘em out!

Cheers!

Shortly after they acquired Goose Island, AB InBev is making another bogus move. The Illinois General Assembly heard a proposed bill this week that would allow small craft breweries in Illinois to distribute their own beers, AB wants to block this from happening. This would be great for those breweries that want to expand and expose their beers to a new market without getting involved with big corporate companies like Goose Island is doing now.

Currently beer gets to consumers by going through three different mediums: manufacturers, distributors and retailers. They claim this system helps keep one entity from dominating the entire market, but it effectively denies craft breweries from going directly to a bar or pub with their beer; they need pay money to hire a distributor. Apparently AB has been trying to gain market share and distribution rights in Chicago for quite some time, but was denied through court proceedings. Anheuser-Busch claimed this was discriminating to out-of-state brewers and somehow convinced a judge the ruling was wrong. Our corporate judicial system at work again. Dicks.

If the law is so discriminating, how come I can go to the liquor store and buy craft beer from Michigan, Indiana, California and countless other out-of-state breweries?

Basically what’s going to happen is that AB will control more distribution rights in Chicago and the rest of Illinois. This will make it harder for craft breweries to get their beers out there because you know AB won’t market these beers like they do their crappy watered-down piss in cans. We can also assume that AB would charge these small breweries too much for them to afford getting their beer distributed, so they won’t even have a chance in the first place.

I want to know what the owners of AB drink. You can rest assured it’s not Budweiser. If it is, gross. Why would you deny great beer from being manufactured and distributed? Money. What little money these craft breweries would be making is already destined to be in AB’s already fat pockets. God forbid we have the chance to drink good, new beer that hasn’t been around because by law it wasn’t allowed.

The brewmaster of Goose Island Brewery, Greg Hall, was caught urinating into a couple of glasses at a bar up in Wicker Park a week ago. Wow. As the story goes, he was seen leaning at the front of the bar looking down, you know how it goes. He then proceeded to kindly leave both the glasses at the bar, so the bartender could tend to them.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all used other places besides the designated bathroom. But never in a glass at a bar. Not even close. It’s not like this place didn’t have bathrooms. What would possess someone to do something like that you ask? Oh yeah, the $38.8 million they acquired when Goose Island sold out to AB. I actually gave them the benefit of my doubt. Not anymore. I thought about it anyways, what happens when Miller or Budweiser make “craft brews?” Budweiser Wheat and “triple hops-brewed,” whatever that means. What I’m saying is, I bet we’re going to see a Goose Island 64 or some Goose Island Light garbage come out. I really hope not. It seems a bit harsh, but what he did was unacceptable.

I’d be interested in hearing what really happened between Greg Hall and the bartender who exchanged words with him. I also read that the bar was asked if they were going to carry any Goose Island beers anymore to which they responded they were undecided but whatever they chose would be discreet.

And oh yea, Hall did come out and publicly apologize, but right after he publicly urinated.

Chicago’s Goose Island Co. has been sold to Anheuser-Busch, according to this Tribune article. Also known under their legal name, Fulton Street Brewery LLC, Goose Island was bought out at $22.5 million. Superpower Anheuser-Busch owns 58% of the company’s stock from the purchase. Goose Island’s Founder and President John Hall was quoted,

“Demand for our beers has grown beyond our capacity to serve our wholesale partners, retailers and beer lovers,” and he claimed that the deal allowed them to, “strictly maintain our recipes and brewing processes.”

Apparently, and this I did not know, the other major shareholder of Goose Island was the Portland-based Craft Brewers Alliance Inc. They sold their 42% stake for $16.3 million. Seems like everyone was eager to give it up.

It’s cool that we had a local craft brewery, even if the majority of the beers aren’t the best you’ve ever had. I personally like Matilda and their other Belgian-style ales. Their restaurant was pretty good the last time I was there. After an acquisition like this, you usually think, “Oh no, there goes Goose Island;” that’s literally what I heard from the people I spoke to about it.

I’d like to think otherwise but I must admit reading the concern over “wholesale partners” from the President, I wasn’t very optimistic. Nonetheless, I will say I recently had some of their Green Line and it was actually pretty good. It’d be a shame if they let corporate take over, I hope the statement and promise made by President John Hall is made to be true.